tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27078061107268713392024-02-20T11:57:20.328+02:00Sakeena Within :)Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-13291524921409567782022-03-12T17:35:00.002+02:002022-03-12T17:41:29.695+02:00Ana Moudou :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7OkMSq0nMEP000NpDHG2NrxOyMGFTpoqdbw9_od2tSzeYnE3WsDeh7gTnM7WegwlEn7wingup5U32gJEMcPPqUGZK642IttdV4hfPg7l8yYzBYtqv4-JfN2Oo3gIimC0BHokuKEstCNQ8Oy590XqKWu2ue-Y5qDTSI_uwr3SIt5LE-yfUEQ4_bO8B=s828" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="823" data-original-width="828" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7OkMSq0nMEP000NpDHG2NrxOyMGFTpoqdbw9_od2tSzeYnE3WsDeh7gTnM7WegwlEn7wingup5U32gJEMcPPqUGZK642IttdV4hfPg7l8yYzBYtqv4-JfN2Oo3gIimC0BHokuKEstCNQ8Oy590XqKWu2ue-Y5qDTSI_uwr3SIt5LE-yfUEQ4_bO8B=s320" width="320" /></a></div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">My name is Mohamed. I was born on March 1st, 2022. Its been a tough ride. I had lots of pictures taken when I was in there. First they said I was in the wrong place. They were wrong. Then they said I'm going to be having certain disabilities. Again they were wrong.</span><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">Later on, one of the many pictures they took showed a hole in my heart. A small one they said, and they were again, wrong! It was a big hole. A "large VSD" they said, whatever that was.</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">They delivered me quickly and I was ok with it. Kept breathing and doing what I'm asked to do. Have that milk. Pass this, pass that. It's been hard- harder and harder each and everyday. Everything I do takes a toll on me.</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">Now they said I'm likely to have a heart failure in the upcoming few weeks, and that the surgery is not an option until I'm 3-5 months old.</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">I'm pushing hard for those who love me, and we need your prayers. Please keep me in them.</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">My kidneys and lungs can only take so much.</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">I'm giving my consent to my dearest Aunt Sara, who's been dying for me, to share this with you all.</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">I'll do my best, Auntie :)</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">Love and a smile,</span></div><div><span style="color: #eeeeee;">Moudou :)</span></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-6844948286890589152021-10-08T14:36:00.004+02:002022-03-12T17:38:06.620+02:00Floating in the abyss..<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKRwFxMWLTAVE0zyR72NNXTXW523wXJuEbaEmRSUof5KqYxK0n_tRNOt6HlypRiu32eDCdSklPvuOXZVUifuDwGoOItn5G_p731Cibgb1ThhegxfmVdrDrUAUEkGI0NZysfgH-pxH4EOc/s828/F8EB6D43-6E8A-4A5E-93EE-4D397DC0D210.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="614" data-original-width="828" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKRwFxMWLTAVE0zyR72NNXTXW523wXJuEbaEmRSUof5KqYxK0n_tRNOt6HlypRiu32eDCdSklPvuOXZVUifuDwGoOItn5G_p731Cibgb1ThhegxfmVdrDrUAUEkGI0NZysfgH-pxH4EOc/s320/F8EB6D43-6E8A-4A5E-93EE-4D397DC0D210.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); color: white; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">You must have missed me! Missed you too! It’s been quite a while that I’ve been floating in the abyss.. been very difficult couple of months filled with pain & lots of blessings. “With hardship comes ease”, and this is eternal..</span><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Both my parents were diagnosed with cancer, & for mom this is her second round. Biopsy, malignancy, surgery, treatment… heavy words that shatter hearts..</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Seeing a loved one get weaker is one of the toughest tests to go through.. being helpless is just devastating..</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Waiting on results, fearing the worst, living the pain is harder when you’re alone.. playing the role of that tough cookie gets to you eventually..</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">I’m so worn out, just want to be numb for a while! I forgot me along those lines.. forgot how to breathe as the long nights passed me by..</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">“Your worry and that fear won’t help you nor them” I kept telling myself- but what can you do when they’re all you’ve got!</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Frustrating year filled with worries and fears..</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">I miss being here so much.. miss being me.. miss being happy.. Mind you, I am very content and grateful, but happy? That comes always with guilt.. </span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Looking forward to getting stronger, healing, sharing, and always counting my blessings…</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">How have you been? Really?</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Hope you’re all safe and sound🙏🌸</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Love,</span></div><div style="caret-color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="color: white;">Your broken winged bird</span></div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; text-size-adjust: auto;" /></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-69480982950105164202019-07-11T03:07:00.000+02:002019-07-11T03:07:42.529+02:00I'm right here..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNL9KgMNuwZFyvm6XFEJroOlYYRFrbYx1RKU8l63XNonN4SoWgC5NMw8tCHu6zlhfF1ebLd6og95Jfol76U3EGUpye5mKiHNfYgs8vOMbnjm0ovgg91Zc8YBy9tS5aMkfe7QRnRov7TXg/s1600/teta%2527s+hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNL9KgMNuwZFyvm6XFEJroOlYYRFrbYx1RKU8l63XNonN4SoWgC5NMw8tCHu6zlhfF1ebLd6og95Jfol76U3EGUpye5mKiHNfYgs8vOMbnjm0ovgg91Zc8YBy9tS5aMkfe7QRnRov7TXg/s320/teta%2527s+hand.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Saturday, July 6th, 2019.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>12:10 pm</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>The Angel of Death took my dear Granny's soul.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>To Allah we belong and to Him is our return.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was the first time for me to attend & witness the death of anyone, and she wasn't anyone, for those who knew her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was so peaceful. I was trembling, yet felt this peace and strength that got me through her passing from this life to the next. Allah Chose me to be with her and hold her hand through these very difficult months.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I feared this moment so much. I felt its nearness, and promised myself to be my very best self at it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We're nothing but moments. From a moment to another, a million changes within our very selves and around us take place. A moment she was here, and the next she's---------- not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I used to always tell her "I'm here", and she'd be calm for seconds after that. Her stares into my soul were scary most of the time. You'd see her pleas for comfort and nothing you could do that'd make her feel better. Her pains have been so severe, and she never knew why.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She died in her room. She was so still. No more screams. No more aches. No blood pressure, no pulse there. No more fever, no need for the catheter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There was nothing scary at all. I stayed by her side until her grave. I kept reminding her of what she taught us: Allah is my Lord, Islam is my religion, & Muhammad (pbuh) is our beloved Prophet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I don't know where I'll be buried, and who'll bury me. I hope I'd smell good, bad deeds do smell.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Losing two grandparents to cancer has been tough. My only comfort comes in the reward, may Allah reward us all for every pain, big or small.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Her soaps remain. Her perfumes and colognes. Her clothes, & chairs.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She's the special dressing on the salad that no one could make. She's the breeze of clean laundry. She's the one who wouldn't ever ask anyone other than The One and Only, Lord of the worlds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She's always had everything, every herb, every fruit. She's always been home.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Washing her body was like washing mine, lots of similarity there. We have a lot in common, or so I hope.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">May Allah Forgive her and us all for every wrong & bless us with His Mercy now and forever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">May Allah Reunite us in the gardens of Paradise.</span></div>
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Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-11861294875184810532019-05-06T00:15:00.000+02:002019-05-06T00:15:49.974+02:00 h e a r t o f m y h e a r t <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Happy birthday mommy <3<br />
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How much more can my heart bear.. It's been so heavy for a year & a half now. This lump in my throat never goes away.<br />
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You're eight mashaAllah. I wonder how your voice is like. Your smile. Your frown. How your skin feels like. How many new scars, seen & unseen. How many new words, good & bad. How many new feelings & thoughts.<br />
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I love this picture. Remember when we had to pull out your two first teeth at the dentist's? How scared you were.. I thought I'd always be there for you. With your hand & heart in mine, you'd have nothing to fear. Little did I know.<br />
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Ah, how you love your birth story.. How many times did you ask to hear it. I don't know how he can harm you this much baby, I don't know until when.. I'm writing this with a million tears & fears.<br />
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How many times did you need me. How many times did you dream of me. I'm so sorry Pateeteyayee.. I'm so very sorry cookie.<br />
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You came two weeks earlier than the due date. I heard that cat give birth, & took it as a sign.. Only a few hours later you took your first breath.<br />
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I'm sorry I gave birth to you in Egypt. I'm sorry I made that first wrong choice. I'm sorry you had to be with these monsters.<br />
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Another Ramadan. Another birthday. I'm sorry for not being there. God Knows what I'm going through. We're doing all we can to get you back, but the tide is so high.<br />
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May Allah Protect you Nony.. May Allah save you from all evil. You're such a tough cookie, I'm so proud of you darling.. Hold on mommy.. Hold on tight, inshaAllah it'll be alright. inshaAllah.Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-48903019474623080932019-04-06T13:47:00.001+02:002019-04-06T13:47:16.558+02:0033<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIftnsnRjJB2i6AZY1UjNrUc0E7T_NXZn9siWCp1CHpJVFu4vZceAbyNuao7kmUcSsDPmBs84MfAbIpIHtOVlGn_4WuuFPD3z6pxJ3vdrdR3p7PXMGWmC3CdTZ6F23Fzy_zJcBLtesKKo/s1600/amoona.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="983" data-original-width="663" height="320" id="id_29f5_b4f3_42fe_f35a" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIftnsnRjJB2i6AZY1UjNrUc0E7T_NXZn9siWCp1CHpJVFu4vZceAbyNuao7kmUcSsDPmBs84MfAbIpIHtOVlGn_4WuuFPD3z6pxJ3vdrdR3p7PXMGWmC3CdTZ6F23Fzy_zJcBLtesKKo/s320/amoona.jpg" style="height: auto; width: 215px;" width="215" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">Ah Pateety, they all asked me about you yesterday at the wedding. Did you remember my birthday? I hope you didn’t, nor feel sad, & fear doesn’t dare touch your door..</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">You know, Allah sent me my cousins to soften these rough days. If only you were here, you’d have been running around in the gardens with them yesterday. When are you coming back baby?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Where did the days go! I feel old!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Age of the people of paradise.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’m barely close, living by Allah’s Mercy.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’m pretty sure I didn’t imagine to be where I am today.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Divorced. Twice. From the same monster who harmed his own daughter before harming me. How did I ever get deluded with a beard!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So naive!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Forced to live now in a third world country; to seek unborn justice.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Can’t hear my daughter’s voice, let alone see her.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Scared of everything. Every. Single. Thing.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Wait. Don’t think I’m ungrateful.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’m so grateful to the farthest extent.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Can’t begin with my endless list..</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This picture is a perfect explanation of my current situation! Right from my birthday yesterday :)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sorry for not introducing you:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Meet Amoona!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I can’t believe how big she’s become!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She’s my cousin, but I’ve always felt that she’s my first babygirl. I was 18 when she was born. I remember only yesterday I was buying her tutus and putting her to sleep in my arms..</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Her first day of nursery & first girlie secret.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Her fights with her siblings & anger towards her parents.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">God how I love her. I literally feel like crying everytime I look at her. I want to protect her from the world & keep her in my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">She’s a young lady now, just turned 15 five days ago, but more sophisticated than you can imagine!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I remember when I had Z, I told her I wish she’d grow to be like you, & she said “ask Allah”... She KNOWS how loved she is, & that should be enough, shouldn’t it?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">..............</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Can I take you back to the wedding?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So yesterday, I met a teacher I’ve worked with years ago. She told me “you can never judge anyone” and that “people have become horrible”, & those were her excuses for sinning. Big sins!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I really couldn’t say much & asked Allah to Protect her & me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Why has everyone become so enslaved by their whims? People do really bad things nowadays, that I can’t even share here, but sure you’ve come across some in your life.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Is it better if we lock ourselves up? Nope!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Get so involved? No!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Become heartless? Nope!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Give all we can? Sometimes!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Why sometimes ? Cuz that’s what I wish to be doing from now on.. caring too much backfires on me all the time!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">May Allah Protect us all!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">.......</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I still wish I was a carefree bird. Somewhere in a far off island, where humans don’t exist.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">People harm more than benefit.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Right now, just trying to keep my head above water!</span></div>
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Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-70026552658415237282019-01-11T23:05:00.003+02:002019-01-11T23:13:29.607+02:00His Light..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"<i>Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things.</i>"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">~Quran~</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It's always dark away from Him. Intentionally forgetting or forsaking, are the worst. He's always Near. Closer than veins. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Through these dark times I live, I am so thankful, for so many things, can't even begin. I'm thankful for that 11 y/old girl smiling at me in the mosque today. The prettiest smile. Leaning on me through the sermon and at times playing with the strings from my rug.. She even fiddled with my skirt.. I wanted to tell her about you.. I want to tell them all, but no one will ever understand.. Will I live to see you this tall baby? Ya Rab!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Can you believe it Pateety? Your own dad forbidding you from reaching me. May Allah Protect your little heart mommy.. May Allah bring you back to me safe and sound!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Yes, I'm going to courts for you honey bunboony.. He asked for it! Never thought I'd take this route, but life could sometimes be beyond any expectation. My advice? Never trust too much baby, never!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I lost my peace of mind, my serenity.. I lost me. Just like a flower, waiting to bloom.. I'm still me though, just need a big hug from you heart of heart, and I'll be alright..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Remember Sheikh Jaber? AlHamdulillah he's still alive and free, with a lot of restrictions though, may Allah Keep him safe. He said today that he was raised with his seven siblings without a dad, and turned out to be Sheikh Jaber. He said Allah Takes care of little ones. And old too.. I know angels are watching you.. And me..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I stopped in front of Grandma S's house, it was sad, so sad. Her voice left the place, it's so empty. Dark and still. No more poems, nor stories of her charming prince and past. She's become past..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I don't have a charming prince to tell you about, but I if I live long enough, I'll tell you about my dream of him.. The one I never met..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Will I ever be missed? Do I need to be missed? I don't think so, I just pray you'd be a road for me to heaven pumpkin..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I miss you beyond words, beyond thoughts, beyond dreams, beyond it all..</span></div>
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Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-32577487582541171972018-07-28T17:56:00.001+02:002018-07-28T17:56:20.851+02:00Dream a little dream of me...<img id="id_adc4_df2c_1d80_37b2" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNoYy3bc6bhid24jlZuqz6ZrXD0L4-7JAhuG4Sve3LrNTsCd9imsbZKfIeSeFnV1j_F9U5nBPqLaRmqE4m_FGT_5p9a_pvDBx_vHZnEhYX7hBu41zKBEWKTo6srn-WyVHmBffML3v_9HA/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div><div jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">“Stars shining bright above you</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Birds singing in the sycamore trees</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Dream a little dream of me</span></i></font></span></div><div jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Say nighty-night and kiss me</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">While I'm alone and blue as can be</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Dream a little dream of me</span></i></font></span></div><div jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Stars fading but I linger on dear</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Still craving your kiss</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">I'm longing to linger till dawn dear</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Just saying this</span></i></font></span></div><div jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">But in your dreams whatever they be</span><br><span jsname="YS01Ge">Dream a little dream of me”</span></i></font></span></div></div><div jsname="U8S5sf" style="line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><br></span></i></font></span></div><div jsname="U8S5sf" style="text-align: center; line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#b0bec5"><i><font face="Trebuchet MS"><span jsname="YS01Ge">~ </span></font>Fabian Andre / Gus Kahn / Wilbur Schwandt ~</i></font></span></div><div><span style="color: rgb(112, 117, 122); font-family: Roboto, HelveticaNeue, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-54913231338314292222018-06-21T17:18:00.001+02:002018-06-21T17:18:58.410+02:00Attu<img id="id_6dc9_8c4e_9954_31e5" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLGQzezv7l7GAGWqq90yblPvlcj_ZGl22JMKjj5psgC3-adcfMazIQG7E7NWMOlvZIuxK8XQJBPANj-e4YBxX4zZSj5ICjl1HAI8_da6aD5E1xfPC_SKd1DrUn2XL_AVf9YhzQcYLxb2g/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Remember when we bought this pillow together baby? It misses you a lot & doesn’t believe that real life can be so harsh. It’s so glad and relieved that it’s a pillow & not real mama & baby bears.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">It’s not always only mama & her baby. It’s Mama’s whole family too. Mama’s family loves you excessively princess! Everyone literally is a part of who you are young girl.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Attu is what you called Lulu when you started talking. خالتو supposedly.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">You guys had this unique connection from day one. Siblings like & more. Something that I wasn’t to you. Your first bff.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">She surprised me & flew in to see you when you were born & got you the cutest earrings you’ve ever had. I loved them so much on you. They broke. Time does that. Makes. Breaks. Mends.</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I don’t know what this time away from us all is doing to you. All I do know is what it’s doing to US. It’s too painful. Attu is suffering a lot these days. Broke down a couple of times & wants me to fight harder, but I can’t baby. Can’t do more. Wallah I can’t. Just. Can’t.</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Remember that night, first time ever, she let you sleep without brushing your teeth? Yup, that’s her! That’s what Attu is for.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">She had you when I weaned you, & you didn’t feel nothing, ‘cuz she’s always got you. I’m sorry not to complete the two years, had to, you’ll understand when you grow up inshaAllah.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">She was right there when you had your eyes surgery, & I was calming her down.</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">She’s always got you. She got you your first swimming suit, converse pair & hot shorts. She held you in the water for the first time. She gave you her own IPad, against my wish. Your first Ipad ever, & brought you that cute red case, reNember? So whenever you need one, just go to her ;)</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">She taught you your first full song.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Messed you up with ice cream.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">She let your hair go crazy,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">& carried you whenever I’d scream.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">No one will be to you,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Like your precious Attu.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Do you still hide your ‘r’,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">When you want your dreams to come true?</font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-63445774521060979872018-06-12T20:06:00.001+02:002018-06-12T20:07:04.226+02:00Battlefield.<img id="id_aab4_b4e8_2298_ebb6" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9q5yJujN7g3ysiAyn8vERXG9DnFzqbj4Ls6TZ4hkjRj0UEnOxnKYkd7xa7ygWvKQtE9TJZ33Pq0-lk66dv8hLhIpBzUgubkWMjGHt0JdzyolMUDI-OP-pAeh8v4Sk9UVDoOvcl6nK6bU/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">Your pyjamas are soaked in tears. They’re not your size anymore. You’re growing away from me. I ask kids how old they are; to imagine how big you’ve become. They answer it like any other boring question silly grownups ask, not knowing how much it means to me.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">Long days & nights have turned into months. Months are turning into a year/years. Only He Knows when I’ll see you next.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">You see I failed. Failed to fight our fight. I wasn’t raised a warrior, I’m just a mama duck. I can swim and walk on land, but not fight them wolves & mice. My quacks were never loud, nor was my pace quick enough.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">They tell me get louder, fight harder, not knowing I can’t do it further. I had my share of noise; my heart can’t take this fracture.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">I CAN NOT do any more, I lost in the battlefield. I wasn’t born to slaughter, nor did I learn how to make a shield.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">I ask Him for you all the time,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">While driving, stopping & following lines,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">While walking between the isles,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">I’m the crazy talking to herself mom.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">Will the cutest duckling find her way home,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">To her broken wounded mama, alone?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">You & I are never alone,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">He’s alway Got our backs & Hears our moans.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">May your Eid be filled with joy & love,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">No balloons without you, nothing yummy on our stove.</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-45067108274701379452018-06-06T19:19:00.001+02:002018-06-06T19:19:02.464+02:00Finding me...<img id="id_7dda_b8af_8e12_ea2f" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUlOfh2EVS5AAnXFirpb7KfluRx4P6Lu-h85n_Bx6UE-Mfm_8iMI3d362MHKVQH333FAtHLdvRQg4xvSvgWkTyh-d0at5yD_ACOELlfoDoXH5me98gDNZZNQpO-oRKPQY890GCSL2hhQk/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Where did I go? A question I ask myself much often. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">Am I doing good? Is this my best? What dreams do I need to chase now?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">I find myself in the voice of my favorite reciters. In a real life painting. Old songs & crazy new ones unlike me. Perfumes & food. I try to hold on to those, but they don’t last.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">My corner in my masjid is gone.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">That level of transparency is down.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">The clouds & rain have changed my painting.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">The songs have come to an end.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">The food doesn’t taste the same.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">That perfume is outdated, asking for it is to offend.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">...</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">I still look for comfortable shoes. A bit more comfortable ones though; now that my feet are a bit older. They’ve been carrying my weight, & extra weights of my own doing; but they’re always hard to get.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">Sleeping with one eye open is my expertise. Freaking out with the smallest noise is what I’m doing best. Scared, pale, & grounded with my broken wings.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I’m gathering my strength in facing this calamity. It’s tough. “I can do it” is my new lipstick.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I never really had a collection of lipsticks & never really tried to look different. It’s always been me, but this me is curled up in the corner with new fears.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">...</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Oh Allah, You’re my Strength.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">You’re my Light, for an everlasting length.</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-54767258255449849982018-06-04T05:25:00.001+02:002018-06-04T05:25:13.394+02:00“My eyes are sleepy mommy...”<img id="id_b842_84b4_3367_a4d3" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkdzV3HZgg1DripCrBlCcMDiL1krC6OojDoDAtwr5qhgOV6V9Wk3sX72Ad0oPFNFOPA8eTNXyepqXADwCFDCwomLLkiDZFZSkU-cRynfijiEL64c7gbFU1nqS4sKzS4BwW_h6umqILB3E/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">You used to say this when you’d fall asleep, after more than an hour of being in bed. You’d say it right before falling asleep. As if it’s a mistake to sleep.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">How do you sleep now mommy? How are your nights like? Your dreams? Your fears? Wish I could’ve had anything left in my hands to do. Wish I could bring you back to my arms.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">My eyes are hardly sleepy baby. Not feeding you with my own hands. Not filtering the air you breathe. Allah Is Always there baby. Always.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Don’t know where to hide my pain. My eyes tell on me. The lines on my face. The frozen tears. I’m losing my way.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Teta’s pain is bigger. Deeper.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">They got me new perfumes mommy. Didn’t find you to open them for me like you always do (open my presents). Will you still know me with my different scent?</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Yesterday we had a big iftaar gathering at your favorite uncle’s place (that you’ve never been to), & when some asked me about you, I said I don’t know. No answer to calls nor messages. No one found words to say. I held my tears. I’m strong for you mommy.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">We talked about teddy bears. M said her hubby still holds on to his favorite childhood teddy bear, the one with the lost eye.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Her brother had to leave behind his big stuffed elephant when they immigrated to Canada years ago. </font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">N had to take her doll’s head only ‘cuz there wasn’t enough space in their bags.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">We laughed through the night, each of us carrying pains and memories.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Too many faces & lots of noise. Meaningless noise. Wish I could breathe under water. Reduce the noise.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Wish I could make sense of it all, but I can’t.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Teta A is really sick, remember her? The one with the warm hands & squeezy hugs. Everyone is getting older. Weaker.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">May Allah make it easy on us all!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Oh heart of my heart,</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Love you from before the start...</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-90615413513234961752018-05-18T16:06:00.001+02:002018-05-18T16:37:33.078+02:00It hurts. A lot.<img id="id_d943_85c1_75d6_ec4d" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQmIiDM4Z0dCoerDyoHZBsF9o0ibUZncNClM9y2e83qZx90QuURdeXuAcE9I-HYa8SJt3O0PmTzACHfAZvfyTJPMZBk8nwD0ZV9Zz4O3KTtnXmljFW1uXVU2rR8sQZWy71lt_i0hxJuEY/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i>Miss you baby. Miss your smell. Your touch.</i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i><br></i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i>Your unheard voice calling me “Mommy”.</i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i><br></i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#558b2f" size="4" face="Trebuchet MS"><i>A pain that can never be described.</i></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i><br></i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i>It’s a torture.</i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i><br></i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i>💔</i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i><br></i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i>Whether the phone is off, or no answer, Allah Is Watching. I only saw you for a few minutes twice online in those 225 days. And God knows of the very few times I was allowed to talk to you. Monitored. Not allowed to share feelings. I got yelled at thrice.</i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i><br></i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i>Allah. Is. Watching.</i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i><br></i></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#558b2f"><i>Lallo mommy <<33</i></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-85470241719325345012018-05-18T07:03:00.001+02:002018-05-18T07:10:11.459+02:00“Ramadan Krem”<div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><img id="id_6e1c_e571_ad34_24a4" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJTs_9nI306m2BZ2tka8W3wWO3EYk4e30RfSFUOK_iMOrUYYYh8Cyo-df2ij6HGIL6pBndscYbjQ23jBQlDVWFvkXj1CDUH_JNDsXUvs0c9Q1JucZP1uAg17pwW_UQGRxPvLElJGoVJ-M/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font size="2"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4">(</font><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4"><i>Picture source: MBC</i></font><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4">)</font></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font size="2"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Remember this guy baby?</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Did you remember me when you saw him? Did you cry, or hold your tears?</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Did you wish to talk to me?</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Did you try fasting?</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I recieved “Ramadan Karem” from your number, was it you, or someone else?</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">How are you surviving this “no Mama” lifestyle?</span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: center;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">...</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Ramadan mubarak!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">May Allah Guide us & Accept us!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">So many mixed feelings every Ramadan.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">So many people to miss. Smells. Voices.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Our house has always been where iftars take place. Where everybody gathers. Where a lot of Quran is read in its corners.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">This Ramadan finds me so broken.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">For the first time in more than a decade I break my fast with my closest family members all together. Parents & siblings. May Allah never deprive me of their presence. الحمد لله</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">For the first time without my daughter. Birthdays, mother’s days, sickness, all without hearing her voice. May Allah Protect her!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Well, enough with the sadness, last night. Let me tell you about last night. First taraweeh prayers on the night of the first of Ramadan. We moved to a new area, far from our masjid. I was so excited to check out the nearest masjid here.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">We went, & the imam made mistakes reciting The Opening. And more mistakes followed. I was a bit upset. How did they let him; no other imams? So many questions.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">The first two rak’as, I prayed next to a woman who constantly looked behind & actually turned her head throughout the prayer. As soon as we finished those two rak’as, she left.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">The next two rak’as, I moved to fill a gap & slowly tried to let my shoulder touch the shoulder of the woman next to me. She shook her shoulder away. I tried again, thought it wasn’t done on purpose, she got really pissed, did salams, looked at me angrily, took a step away from me, and prayed again. Next to me but not close, with a gap between me and her, and another between her & the lady next to her. As soon as we did rukoo’ her keys made huge noise, she was wearing maybe 10 keys or more in a chain around her neck. I got so scared. She was very aggressive throughout the prayer. As soon as we were done with those two rak’as, she left to a corner.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I then needed to process. Process all this. Either become super angry at the imam & the two ladies, or try to understand.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">1. This imam wasn’t an Arab & read better than me & memorizes the whole Qur’an. He studied for years to become an Imam. Maybe his recitation isn’t ideal, but he worked more than most of us do. May Allah Guide him.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">2. The lady who kept turning her head while praying wasn’t doing right, but who knows where she’s coming from, who knows why she’s turning her head. May Allah Help her.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">3. Again, I’ll never know why that other lady couldn’t pray shoulder to shoulder. Maybe she has a phobia. Whatever reason, she actually came to the masjid, bless her heart!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Ramadan is all about widening your horizons. Looking at the bigger picture.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I had an argument yesterday, I was asked why would I ask youth to go pray taraweeh, while they miss their daily prayers. I didn’t win the argument. </span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">All I wanted to say is that taraweeh have a certain taste, that you wouldn’t easily get at home.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Especially if they were taraweeh you went to with your uncle A, who has a special Ramadan outfit & perfume.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Especially if you go to masjid Mus’ab Ibn Omair in Abu Dhabi, & pray behind sheikh Jaber AbdulHamid Qutb.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Sheikh Jaber, you are always in my prayers. You know that I wanted you to teach my daughter Qur’an? It was one of my wishes. Who knows, maybe someday.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">How many of you can tell a person’s nationality from their toes? ;)</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Ya Allah. So many mixed emotions.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">اللهم إنك عفو كريم تحب العفو فاعف عنا</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">P.S. Did you imagine this Ramadan would find you where you are today? In a million years, I wouldn’t have guessed even tenth of it!</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-43186045862089562132018-05-06T06:45:00.001+02:002018-05-06T06:45:39.428+02:00Seven...<img id="id_9988_acb_8f83_4888" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcCTxCS0DpSQ-DqBLQvhFdIwOTWZVQk51Mz0v1nd3b2GlVs-Sa8ThJ9BBL36sRIthijlzq8yUOUdk4gYxlhiiqhUwLFrBEuVOLOQpnkUyeUOOsK1f50DveSti4RQk_U3XLxFR9qXtcJNA/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">My one & only,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Just like today, seven years ago, you took your first breath. It took you a few seconds to let out you first cry. I got scared, & the nurses did too.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">As soon as you did, they put you on my chest, & I didn’t know what to feel. You were really here. After all the kicks & dreams. All the vitamins & fears.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">You came to our lives, filled it with a new kind of love; a new taste, a new strive.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I was always overprotective. I didn’t even get a chance to change, from all the care I gave you. I suffocated you with all my fears.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">And today, you’re not with me. You’re celebrating in another continent, with others I don’t even know.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I can’t smell you or see your face. Can’t cry & tell you how I sniffed you until that last day. Can’t know what’s happening to you, your eyes, your heart, or what’s your new nickname...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">All I can do is wish you a happy birthday, happy life, with & without me. I’m kissing your picture & praying for your return.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">May Allah protect you, & keep you safe oh Allah’s miracle, my little princess, my one & only babygirl <3</font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-63343891386582664202018-05-03T22:22:00.001+02:002018-05-03T22:25:22.855+02:00Just another day...<img id="id_2703_c18b_9325_93f1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9DWbV68JhG5OOZvfvfOqRp572N1erylB0Qo8A4LeCoQg1HdpXtbRRkHCWYlDwt7bxuZb8N2TsYaQMYqASVdvgO-4F9yNdfUPrBwG_scEQXSpRIusviNRgjR-S0OGQeF4P286wv-xaULA/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Yesterday was a very difficult one. It was not just another day for us here. You answered the phone & sounded full of fear. You said you’ll be travelling for 20 days after Eid & weren’t allowed to tell me where to or connect with me on those days.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Then you said you were wearing an eyepatch. You said you’ll be wearing it for three months & that your right eye is super weak. You said it itches your nose. I didn’t know how I held my screams. My tears wet my blouse.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">It’s hard.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Not knowing & knowing are both hard. How much more can my heart take. </span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I am not saying it’s not fair anymore, because it adds nothing & lifts nothing.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Dead air. It’s like I’m sucked out of me.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">It’s when you think it can’t get worse, and it just does.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Today is another one. One of those many many ones they don’t let you answer the phone.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">الحمدلله with all my heart. Alhamdulillah for it all.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Remember your eyes’ surgery? Remember? May Allah Heal you just like He did many times before!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">You’re strong baby, I know, you’re way stronger than me. I’m so proud of being your mommy!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">...</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I’m praying, always praying for you.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Out loud & with no words & no clue.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I know Allah Is Taking Care of you.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">He Knows; that’s what’s getting me through.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Babygirl, li’l princess, you know I love you?</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I wish I could give both my eyes to you.</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-22956360174286478732018-04-27T05:43:00.001+02:002018-04-27T05:43:21.208+02:00A web of love...<img id="id_cbfb_38d6_9033_76e2" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZGWilyRXS-m41RN2s_dQ-rZpFdUyOlvjyi5TfYhpNR0-RffYx9co4M2Kxno98ro6JQGVNby9ymuQT5p7fqHTgzvO4p4UcJq-xmGrViHH6uFetpk46KwKCMH24XXoZLasXJYyi9ht7Me8/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br> <div><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Trebuchet MS">Mr Rogers said they’ll install the internet after a couple of days. Oh, didn’t I tell you? We’re moving, AGAIN! </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">Maybe for the hundredth time in my life. A new corner, new air, new water stream..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Trebuchet MS"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">We need to detox, don’t we? Maybe try new routines. New sights. But never a new Dooby; we’ll surely miss you kitty; may you stay safe :(</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I always believed a home should always have elderly, children, & cats. Or at least that’s how our home was always like. However; life happened.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">*sighs*</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">TV has always been important in our home. Maybe ‘cuz it can magically take us back in time. See beautiful things that stopped existing. Or listen to some words that strengthen our faith.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Faith. Know something, faith is literally everything. Brings forth courtesy & patience. Faith is what grants us serenity & tranquility.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I’ll feel better when:</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I do my homework.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Ice skate.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Graduate.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Play.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Get that job.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Buy this & that.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Leave that job.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Get married.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Have my baby.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Go for Hajj.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Get divorced.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Get healthier.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Lose this pain.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Kill those cancerous cells.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">And so much more.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">However, it will never work when you hang your joy on certain conditions. It’s all about faith. Faith.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Now don’t ask me how to have it please, I’m sure you know better than I do.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Love,</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-29536972702051198072018-04-22T05:31:00.001+02:002018-04-22T05:31:04.828+02:00My Eyes...<img id="id_b1af_3620_e8e2_7c26" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7kTNkXeu1VRueuY-RWAst_dOfTt8tgnKXwyd-xE8NrDlx1jA7l71wUZNFz4Mwg-MYtDzsjgjyN8lHlu29JkzC16dy6Az0HXpbeIo0cJPuhrUX4-bH8pp9m-sT6FPZF6rFcGp7kov-LmE/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 355px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Your eyes,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4">My eyes,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4">No lies,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4">No cries,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Your love,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Hatred defies 🌸</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">For the first time, in months of different moons & sun, they let me see you online; ‘cuz He for me to see you Has Willed!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">الحمد لله حمداً كثيراً طيباً مباركاًفيه</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I don’t want to be dramatic and sad, but what can I do.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I saw how scared you were. Your eyes were watching out throughout our call, & were not free. Our words were monitored, & so were our tears, cries & fears.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I saw your sadness & felt your sorrow. I know it’s hard. Your teeth were pulled out today. You are older. Hopefully stronger. You’re definitely a survivor.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I’m sorry you had to grow up faster than you should have. Sorry you had to make your own breakfast before hitting seven. Sorry you sleep in the dark!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Today you are new.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Days before turning seven.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Today you are lost.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">A victim to an unconvicted felon.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">If Allah Wills, He’ll bring you back to me.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">In a heartbeat, he can let me your eyes see.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Eyes of my eyes, blood of my blood,</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I’m never whole without you, my pains can run a flood.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-27253338884747386992018-04-13T20:25:00.001+02:002018-04-13T20:55:23.758+02:00Tomorrow?<img id="id_b390_5ddf_edbc_3afb" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Xb7lod2n7W4nvPRgyUMkw3NY-XKBYZVt4MV7DkIGo_GJLZCgqAAIgbiHhm7F_2GExtaIGC9A-9Pj8aT4qgeHX8oe1g-Nnip9LCbX3V4KA3cX-zYFf91wtpF358FLQB06pu-1TT-ccN8/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I don’t know. But today, you’re not here, and that hurts!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Teta’s humming in the kitchen, as I’m writing these words. It ‘feels’ home that way. Are you feeling home? I’m sure not!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">For the first time in the past six months they actually let you call me a real call. I don’t know why or how, but they did. For 24 whole minutes!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Are they starting to understand the truth of the matter? Are they getting close to admitting that your safest haven is with your mama? I don’t know...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">You said that you’re starting to master swimming on your back & that you started sleeping on your own, without “night light”. You tried to convince me that you’re not scared, & that you’re doing great.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(176, 190, 197); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">I know it’s hard, but I can’t change it.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(176, 190, 197); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">I’m so sorry baby.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">You said you’re still saving money to get me our dream big car. Baby, that means the world to me!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">You said you’ll play a new half turkish song on our rides; that you’re sure I’ll like.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(176, 190, 197); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">Baby ana <<33</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#b0bec5" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(176, 190, 197);">You said you’re bigger, wear size 10, and your hair grew longer. MashaAllah habeebit mommy, I wish I can see that.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#b0bec5" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(176, 190, 197);">My eyes are dry now; not sure if you’ll know them.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">You tried playing my game, and asked me if I wish to share any secrets with you. I only said that I wish to be with you.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I lied.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that Teta & I cry everyday.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Every.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Single.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Day. </font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that Lulu broke down, literally broke down for you a few days ago...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that we’re moving, maybe close to a kids park.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that my heart wept at Ikea yesterday. I don’t know if we’ll go there together again, if you’ll play there & ask for ice cream. Again.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that at Payless Shoes I wanted to SCREAM and tell the world that I have a baby whom would have been wanting to check out shoes & ask me to buy ones for her with heels, & that I always manage to say ‘no; they’ll hurt your feet’... How I never let you off my sight, not even to hide behind the isles to play hide and seek.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that every time my phone rings, I freak out. It’s becoming scary.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that I have a million fears for you from your very self, let alone the rest of the world. Seen & unseen.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">I didn’t tell you that I want to put my head on your chest & cry my heart out.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Baby, you always take care of me. You always tell me not to worry. You need to come back to me baby. You need to tell me it’ll be okay. Please.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Promise to let you comb my hair.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" color="#b0bec5" size="4">Tu’bury alby mommy......</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(176, 190, 197); font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: large;">Lallooo so so so muchy much!</span></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-66680652604883667522018-04-09T03:51:00.001+02:002018-04-09T03:51:08.762+02:00Fifty One Days Later...<img id="id_bf_5fb7_62b0_4c37" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtPHiNlS8fWr4fRJH0D6D-mWOdBJGb4UAGS6B_Nc7c07-aYA1wG8g_wdlRh-TyoMPrGLu_SHU_FfCBBMjYef7wNAlV2UCPki-fs_pF6V56w5hadRpmNaKXnXDRSp3aGvNbljTrrn62cWg/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">They let us talk again! Just. Phone. Calls. Who knows for how long...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">184 days & nights since I last kissed you... It never got easier. Not once. I’m still here. Trying to hold on to my grace.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">51 days ago they decided to not let me talk to you. Fifty one cold days and fifty one dark nights. A severe torture. Not knowing anything about you. With nothing left in our hands to do to stop their destruction.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">Only yesterday they let us talk! I don’t know why then, but surely Allah Knows how hard it has been for us. I pray it wasn’t as hard for you baby.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">Sorry you had to travel by plane & go through so much wihout your Mama. Sorry ya wardet mama <3</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">You told me today that starting from tomorrow you’ll be going back to the house from your school bus BY YOURSELF! But you’ll call your father every time you reach home! I had a bad headache since that moment. Something happened to my brain cells. My heart can not fathom. How? Why?</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">So many questions I NEED to ask you, but fear holds my tongue. I fear them doing that all over again.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4">I’m sorry for not telling you how I feel. Not showing you how much I’m dying each moment for you. I just can’t; too scared of them turning all connections off. Over. And. Over. Again.</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Trebuchet MS" size="4" color="#bcaaa4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">I’m sorry I won’t be there on your birthday. I’m sorry for not being a source of light in your precious life. I’m sorry I won’t be in your pictures.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Someday I’ll have you back, inshaAllah. I’ll explain to you. And if that doesn’t happen; it’ll surely happen up there inshaAllah.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Lallo mommy! Heart of my heart!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Remember this book? I never continued reading it for you. I never let you watch Cinderella; not knowing that you would experience her life at 6.5.. I thought watching Lion King would be too rough for you. Not knowing that you were to go through this chaos too soon.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">They let you watch After Life?! May Allah Protect your little heart Pateeteyayeeee!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Did you really mean it when you said that my mac & cheese is better than the one they gave you for lunch today? Please don’t forget my love for you.</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Mommy loves Nonny very muchy much!</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Trebuchet MS" size="4"><span style="caret-color: rgb(188, 170, 164);">Ugy muggy baby!</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-11064853821699468042018-03-10T04:46:00.001+02:002018-03-10T04:50:35.334+02:00I wish I could protect you from...<img id="id_10bd_be8b_8733_837f" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnvtGOEqNODMCvClw6pqblCdLFW7NNnSgau029VnKVLA17-CGlNP6t1ZjWh2Ev6Souhs8ydovMQ6vzFyJVzj40q57Ay9bblcEwhqbnfDlKwfCCLvC71PaC6v4m_X1_TrZfwg65ly_b4mY/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Everything.. Literally everything.. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">But.. </span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I.. C</span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">an’t..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I can’t protect you, nor anyone I love.. Can’t even protect myself.. I have power over nothing...</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">We do our best.. Try to shield ourselves.. But you never know where the arrows will be coming from now, do you?</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Protection is not something you go find at the store.. It takes a lot of things.. On top of those things; is to always know that your Lord Is The One and Only One you shall seek your protection from.. Take precautions? Definitely, but know that you are belonging to Him!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">.........</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">......</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Once upon a time, there was a little princess who lived in a penthouse, far-away from the noise and smoke.. Near the clouds and the birds.. She had the sea view and sky was her limit.. </span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">She stayed up there for a long time.. Protected from evil and harm...</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">One day, evil and harm came knocking on her door.. They were wearing happy faces and kept on their masks.. She believed them, and went along.. Thought she learned enough from gazing into the horizon and hearing only birds songs.. She thought reading her books were good enough for her to lead a life of her own..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">She left her tower and went by the book.. As she walked she found their masks falling off, one after the other.. She got scared, and didn’t know how to protect herself.. She genuinely wished to be saved, but didn’t know where to go next..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">She turned to Him, and ran back to her tower.. Went upstairs.. And thought she’ll forever be safe.. But she found out that she wasn’t really the same.. She had wounds that needed healing and a heart that was broken in half..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">She was mad at the world and wanted to never leave her tower.. However, she was older then, and found out that she should go downstairs more often and live a ‘larger’ life.. A life that had more living than hiding..</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">She took steps, and went on, but this time, carefully.. She knew that protection doesn’t come from locking yourself up behind closed doors..</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">After being tired from all the anger that took over her; she learned that being angry would never fix her past, nor make her forget it; and give her no room to love again.. Love that she thought was the reason for weakness and vulnerability only..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">...</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">......</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">.........</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Loving and being vulnerable is a natural state of heart, that we shouldn’t be scared of approaching.. We shouldn’t stop loving as long as we are living.. The key here is to know where we’re directing our love..</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">To love is to be strong.. Choosing to love will always protect us.. Love with all our might and to never stop caring.. Find something to love doing.. Find lovely lovable ones.. We shouldn’t waste our time on hate, because it eats the heart up..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: start;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Oh Allah, I ask You for Your Love, and the love of whoever loves You, and the love of deeds that will bring me closer to Your Love...</font></i></strong></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-33035165696810626792018-03-09T08:23:00.001+02:002018-03-09T08:25:34.667+02:00One day, I flew away...<img id="id_e15c_2332_1cdb_5286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVWNm0gdPxUlQbe8ce4T-wAL3DsdYhsxwWDs2i0tJV-_nBFdb_l3hq0DyQ4mfE7hYOqKlgKlnBD1oqYYncy6ORI0doKGWD_pATbZs-W-NJwdIRLgLTrPwZ4V2AdZFDz-5ekHnMlpDIv08/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br> <div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">I had to.. I got sick.. I got really sick.. Remember when Giddo carried me to the hospital? When I passed out in the school? Your school, that I taught in to never leave your side? </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Please don’t forget.. I never wanted you to see me like that, but your teacher brought you and you saw me.. I think that’s what God wanted for you to see; so that you’d never believe any lies...</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">I miss you so much.. So very much.. I wish I could have packed you in my suitcase.. It’s ok to take a cat, but not you! How can a mother not have her baby with her wherever she went! </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">How can animals roam around freely, and borders separate human families just like that!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">I always feel shy when sharing my experience; as there are literally millions of people suffering from worse situations.. But I do! I share it.. I write.. Can’t stop.. It’s all I could do...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">I share it with everybody I know and don’t know.. A PART OF ME IS NOT ON ME! I have my ID, totally and completely incomplete!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">How long will it take to get you back?</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">I remember leaving at dawn, my favorite time of the day.. Travelling without you.. without holding your hand in mine.. Without taking care of you every step of the way.. I don’t know how I reached here.. I swear don’t know how it happened.. I don’t know how I’m living..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">He Wants me to be here without you.. The Lord of the worlds.. And I’m trying to be patient.. Trying hard..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">Are you praying for us to reunite? Are you having me in your dreams? Are you the only girl motherless this Mother’s Day?</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4" face="Arial Narrow">I’m so sorry.. I couldn’t have done it any better.. I did my best, always have, and He Knows; He Is </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">my Witness..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">........</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Baby,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I don’t know when will you read this, if ever.. If you do, know that I was oppressed.. Know that I’m half a woman without you.. Know that the lump has never left my throat.. In fact it got worse.. Know that Teta’s eyes have become weak from crying.. Her tears never dried..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">We ask Allah to protect you from evil.. To protect you from sorrow.. To protect you from growing up quicker than you’re supposed to, and from losing your childhood so fast..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I tried hard since you were a year and a couple of months old to not let you know about divorce in its typical Arab downgraded way..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">And long before that I worked hard on protecting your ears and heart from the distortion.. The distortion I’ve tried hard to survive..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I love you so much baby, I don’t know if you’ll ever remember our times together.. I pray you do..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I’m not saying I’m a perfect mother, but I did and still do my best.. Even when we’re far.. Even when they don’t let us talk.. For days and nights.. For weeks and weeks! Even if they never let me see you again.. I’m doing my best..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">You are the heart of my heart.. Soul of my soul.. Blood of my blood.. Apple of my eye.. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">“You’re my cuppycake”, remember? </span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I used to sing you this song when you were still inside my womb.. I’m sure you’d know what a womb is if you’re reading this now.. It’s what made me your Mommy.. And now it’s broken.. Just like my heart and soul.. Like Teta’s.. Giddo’s.. Khalos’ and Auntie’s..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I’ll still sing it for you, will you hear me? Remember when you used to blow me kisses in secret and then ask me if I felt them? In the back seat in the car while I’m driving, and when you were away in school? “Did you feel something mommy?” </font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I always felt you baby..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Always <<33</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I hope you do!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: start;"><font size="4"><i><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow">“</font><b><font style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" color="#bcaaa4">You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum</font></b></i></font></div><center style="text-align: start;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie</i></font></span></b></center><center style="text-align: start;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop</i></font></span></b></center><center style="text-align: start;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye</i></font></span></b></center><center style="text-align: start;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>And I love you so and I want you to know</i></font></span></b></center><center style="text-align: start;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>That I'll always be right here</i></font></span></b></center><center style="text-align: start;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>And I love to sing sweet songs to you</i></font></span></b></center><center style="text-align: start;"><b><font><font style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>Because you are so dear”</i></font></font></b></center><center style="text-align: start;"><b><font><font style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>~Cuppycake song~</i></font></font></b></center>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-26987714829022559482018-03-08T08:33:00.001+02:002018-03-08T08:41:02.807+02:00Nussandro :)<img id="id_8233_d3e9_f976_ea33" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAvfod_jZCmIPac48-0uz6xbiGduyQzLJ8ZW2gBHAW5j5v_QN_guwEd8idSoSkKOMQM9MXV66NHcrKyfy_A1D6voYdxFc5upailHMQ9Y1HgyW5aCxPQvi4fzz_CweX8EB0eSj9an-8XEM/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><br><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Can you believe it’s been around 18 years now? I can’t!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I remember the first time we met, in that after school Qur’an class.. Your Arabic was so cute, loved it! </font><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Loved your smile right away, and your hijab; was always neat and loose.. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I could have never guessed you’re Italian! </span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">And I could have never guessed we’d get this close and live out those years together!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Remember the girls parties we used to have? You were the first to introduce me to Chinese cuisine, and that fried banana ice cream, mmm.. Pizzas at your place and your Dad’s pasta! Baskin Robins... :)</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Your high school graduation party was awesome, I was so proud of you that day! Remember how Asma and I screamed out your name when you came out? </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I was so sad when you had to travel right after high school!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Remember your school trip to India and building those homes, I felt like I was there with you.. Our connection was beautiful and had no limits.. It was strong before we even knew it..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Thing is, a strong friendship is one that no worldly factors can break.. Is genuine and has no room left for doubts.. You were always there for me.. Through rough times.. In sorrow before happiness.. You were always there..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I will never forget the times you slept over when I needed it.. How you took me and my baby to the hospital and supported me through those tough nights; and how that whenever I needed you:</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">YOU</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">WERE</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">THERE</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">AND</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">STILL</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">ARE</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">A true friend is one you’d think of, and ask to do anything for you without even thinking of how to ask them.. One who will do whatever it takes to make sure you’re okay from inside out.. One who doesn’t care if you don’t keep in touch or doubts your love when distances come in your way.. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">One who knows you from only looking at you without even talking..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Nussa, I love you sis, and wish I was there near you in the beginning of your married life.. Thank you for being there.. My trust, love and respect for you has no end!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">You’ve seen me in my highs and lows, I wonder what you think of me :$ Like how you see me...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I don’t see true friendships around anymore! Everybody is texting everybody and hardly really talk.. They do only when they feel like it, at specific times! Restrictions are suffocating everybody and every connection now! Silly restrictions really.. The more they have the tools to reach out, the less they do..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I know we’re considered to be the older folks now :( but you know what? We are lucky! Not having whatsapp and bbm back in the day got us together.. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">You see, people now rarely really get together.. Hardly ever present!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">No one could ever take your place.. I can always spill my beans and not worry about a thing.. <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Nussa, I love you, and I’m so lucky to have you.. Please forgive me for my shortcomings and know that I’m so proud to say that you are forever my bestest friend :)</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And since it’s March, happy birthday Nussandro <3</span></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-89894521664838660672018-03-07T07:44:00.001+02:002018-03-07T07:44:05.503+02:00I remember him...<img id="id_7024_46b9_6e57_d7a9" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv60MJmO0CMhte7NFaaqGO69EV5h_XlB14v63kvogF5c8SGLypQRD4APAZ7QGZc38rbn83g30-wbzzph0MBmL3X3Q91Y_AjMLaXpIQWh-Pe4YnolGklao9uN_fu8m_VTxc2CR0EoEJDog/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 352px; height: auto;"><br><br><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I remember getting excited for joining this place, everyone seemed so professional and a lot of people I knew would’ve loved to work there..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I met a lot of people, and never thought that looks would be so deluding.. I thought women with proper hijab would always be upright & those who wear inappropriate clothes wouldn’t be all that..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I was wrong.. Besides, these were my first encounters in the ‘real world’..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">This is the story of so many women out there... A story of a colleague, who became a friend.. Who made me wonder about right and wrong and if there’s an ‘in between’...</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">First time I met her, she had </font></span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">a lot of make up on.. A LOT! At first I didn’t know why, but eventually I did! </span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">She’d sometimes spend the whole day in office with her sunglasses on; said her eyes were too sensitive.. Any guesses?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">That’s right, she was abused.. By her husband.. I was young, and this was my first real life encounter with evil.. I didn’t understand.. Three kids, says he loves her, and she loves him and that he’ll change! ‘This will pass’ she always said.. She always thought.. She always hoped..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">She’d cover up her bruises in all sorts of ways.. Cry in the washroom all the time.. I thought I’d never see this stuff in real life, but I did.. I couldn’t stand it.. I never did and never could understand it..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Humiliate yourself and let your three kids grow up seeing you get beaten up almost everyday; because maybe someday it’ll get better? Because he’s rich and pays for their ‘great schools’? Because you love him? And he loves you?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">What kind of love is that? He sees other women, but says he marries them? Doesn’t do haram? Goes to umrah every couple of months?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I never understood! Really!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Years passed, distances came in between us and we talked every now and then.. Everytime we talked she’d tell me he’s not changing, but that he will.. That she believes deep down he loves her and will come back to his ‘senses’ someday.. And that gave her comfort..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Police was involved.. a couple of times.. Divorce too.. A couple of times.. And she stayed.. For the ‘sake of the kids’ she said..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I tried convincing her to leave.. I had her sleep over at our place.. She’d always run back to him.. She told me that a scholar told her to stay and try! </font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Years passed.. And about a year ago, she texted me: “I left him!”.. After her kids went to college.. After them seeing it all.. Living it all.. After wasting so many years.. So many tears.. So many fears..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">She barely had a chance to have a life.. Or grant her kids the life they needed..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Was she abused? Or did she let her self get abused? I’m not saying it’s easy to leave.. But.. You gotta do what you gotta do.. Don’t let your life slip away from you.. Don’t let the walls be your limit.. Don’t leave the windows closed and the pain eat your soul up.. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Don’t live dead.. It’s only one life that we get over here..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">...</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">He was scary, crazy, and I don’t like remembering him..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">May God Help hear heal.. May He Help them all heal... amen!</font></span></div></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-45875286102199529932018-03-06T07:07:00.001+02:002018-03-06T07:07:21.084+02:00I have never told you this, but...<img id="id_b7c4_cc27_69d9_c078" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf41ZP2lqyPH0502iKVAOgWaADfQE5Iw8XidrBMHwmj3lzch9R1jWMFDRpwQySk-5BwLWnX7Gn0qmipIhmwQcI9P8Uze_lBEE2xWkJIUW6cVuSO_UJAWOUBMxvGcQ7EWyCiKP52TR7zbs/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><div><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">It was for your own good.. And mine.. Or so I thought.. So please forgive me...</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I chose to stay back.. Can’t take risks.. Can’t do it anymore.. I’ve been hurt.. Really hurt.. You only get one heart.. and mine has had enough..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">It’s a long story.. But not so different; so common nowadays.. However, what makes it different is the way each one of us tackles their situation.. How strong or weak they get.. How thick or thin their skin is.. Mine was super thin; it easily became friends with eczema ;)</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that since last May I have become physically very weak.. Emotionally very drained.. I could no longer do simple tasks.. Let alone get married again!</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Getting married is a huge project, but it’s never two hearts becoming one and bla bla bla.. Because two can never be one, let’s not fool ourselves..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">It takes a lot of compromise, respect, understanding, acceptance & honesty.. And love on top.. And when any lack, it’d hardly live..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">...</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I didn’t tell you that any girl would die to have a man like you.. I didn’t tell you that deep down I felt a little happy.. I didn’t tell you that it was a very heroic proposal.. I didn’t tell you that a part of me wanted to say yes.. A very small part.. A part that got burried deep deep down..</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Having a man to lean on is every woman’s instinctive dream.. One who loves, leads & takes her higher.. Brings out the best in her.. Contains her weaknesses & adds comfort..</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">For me to have this man, I need to be the wind beneath his wings.. And I can’t.. I can’t be anything to anyone..</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">I never told you how sorry I am for making you sad.. But I was scared that by telling you sorry, you’d think that there’d be a way for us together..</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">You deserve better.. Someone with no tears.. Someone with no fears.. Someone happier.. Someone who’s not me..</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">And when you do, find ‘the one’, please take care of her.. Her feelings.. Be her pride.. Please contain her, isn’t she “</span></font><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><i>created from a rib; and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked</i>”? Our Prophet peace and blessings be upon him commanded you to <i>take care of her in a good manner.. </i>So Pl</font></span><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">ease do... :)</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">I never told you that it was nice meeting you.. You’re a real gentleman.. May God grant you your longed for sakeena :)</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">As for me, I’d rather stay in the shade.. Away from all feelings.. I wish I could feel less, see less, know less.. I can’t hear noises.. No not today.. </span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">No sunlight nor moonlight,</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">I’m so broken from this fight,</span></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">My heart can’t taste delight,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">With my baby out of sight..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Yesterday & today are sad,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">Maybe tomorrow after I’ve had,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">My share of seeing evil & bad,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);">I’d be happy & again restart..</span></div> </div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707806110726871339.post-78377928795840147592018-03-05T07:10:00.001+02:002018-03-05T07:10:44.595+02:00Dear Grandchildren,<img id="id_f80d_a631_b65e_c2c2" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirqVu-FywmhaTyO3wu3FXyFndX1Z7SO_7Bcd_TtLvqU-SeHM5PNS2EMW7s5S5StgMPq6iBjXbyR9wp5qvCjz9bSjfmGb6fXwSuVk1FnduqF0WV2mtHVPBbRY5o_fWOePBqG6MDaRxsiqA/s5000/%255BUNSET%255D" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 353px; height: auto;"><br><div><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Assalamu alaikum dearest,</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Before I begin, can you guess what’s in this picture? I’m sorry, I don’t have money nor property to pass on to you.. I wish I did.. No treasures other than my Islam!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">Yes! It’s what I’ve always been proud of and did my best to live by.. I lived in many lands and saw many different faces.. East and west.. What I chose to define me wherever I went was my Islam.. Not belonging to a certain land, language or tribe made it for me..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I never felt like I belonged to the time I’m living in, I’ve also been told so on many different occasions.. It never made me feel bad, on the contrary, I felt special..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I tried gathering all my strength and giving your Mom the best of me.. In those six years and a half, and before that, I tried hard to work on myself, long before having her.. Your Mommy was a beautiful dream, that did come true, thank God!</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I have some of her stuff: first clothes she wore, shoes, dresses, my favorite onesies and much more.. Some of her stuff were taken by force and were never given back to me..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Your Mom is so special, even when she was only three months old in my tummy, the Doctor said that she’ll be super tall.. I hope you like those genes..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">She is special in so many ways.. She is sensitive and responsible.. Kind and gentle.. Caring and polite.. MashaAllah smart all the way..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">I taught her not to put headsets on and ignore people around her.. I never did, even when I felt like it.. I taught her that she can’t disrespect anyone.. I taught her to stay away from evil and that it’s ok to make mistakes, but not ok to repeat them..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">The picture? Well it’s her nail cutter, guessed it? I bought it when she was inside of me.. Cleanliness is very important to us, I also baught her small tub while I was pregnant.. And her nail cutter has always been with me ever since ;) My grandchildren should be super clean all the way, okay?</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Carrying her inside of me was so fun.. It was an easy pregnancy as well as her delivery.. It went very smooth, I enjoyed it so much, Alhamdulillah..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Promise to keep her, me and my parents & whole family in your prayers, deal? We need your prayers..</font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font color="#bcaaa4" face="Arial Narrow" size="4">Hold on to your Islam, I’m sure it’s hard, the Prophet peace be upon him said it’ll be hard, but promised jannah if we try hard.. </font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">I don’t know how much more time I have left, but as long as I lived, I loved.. All the way.. </font><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I always felt for others, and tried to give excuses.. Mistakes? I had my share, but worked hard on fixing them.. Paid high prices..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">I love you even if I never meet you..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Make me proud!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;"><br></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Lots of love,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(188, 170, 164); font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: large;">Teta sara ;)</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">...</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">......</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4">.........</font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="2">I’m not sure if I’ll have any grandchildren, and if I’ll ever be blessed of the presence of my dearest daughter in this life again, after being apart for 150 days and nights... If I ever do, this is my letter to you... :)</font></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font face="Arial Narrow" color="#bcaaa4" size="4"><br></font></div>Sakeena.withinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03634522771869950031noreply@blogger.com0