Staying Warm!

It's freezing down here.. Freezing! Below zero degrees.. Buying a jacket or a pair of boots won't warm you up still.. Warmth comes from within really..

!8 days since they took my baby from me.. 18 days she's been sleeping away from me.. 18 days she's been washed, fed, looked after by them.. 18 days and her father deprived me from even seeing her on any application.. He just gave me one hour only in the day to voice call her! And he calls her in this hour to cut us off!

Thankfully, she sounds fine! Excited about this new life away from me.. She's being a brave girl.. An adventurous one.. Just like I taught her and Mom taught her.. But I'm not.. And Mom is not.. We're too too weak to handle this.. It's hard.. Can you tell me how can I live normally? I eat and drink and laugh out loud.. I sleep it's not like I don't.. But the pain in my chest and tightness of my breath isn't going anywhere..

My only fault is being physically sick and travelling for treatment! Instead of being treated alone in a country where non of my family lives; to carry me if I pass out again..

I pray she comes back to me safe and sound.. God Who's been sending this snow down Can Do anything.. We are waiting for that magical moment.. And until then I ask you to pray for us..

Z told me today that she's practising for the show.. She'll play a patient whose tooth needs to be pulled out.. Fairouz will be her doctor.. Wish I can go see that.. Instead people who don't care a bit about her will go.. And get tickets.. And I'm here..

Allah Said:

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

Ya Rab!

6+

I wrote in May 2017:

"My baby is officially 6 years old this month! MashaAllah! Her toes, her fingers, her lips, her eyes, her smell, her heart, her mind and her soul are all 6 years of age! Praise The Lord! It's hard work.. A LOT OF HARD WORK.. Taking care of fish, cats and plants is not even close.. Fish, cats and plants will always be indoors sheltered from all the ongoing non-stop mess.. But human beings are very complicated.."

And I stopped writing..

A lot of things happened since then, A LOT! Things that are hard to be written.. To start with, I have been a single mother for a couple of years.. Got married, divorced, remarried to the same dude with hopes of it working out, and then divorced again! When things don't work out, they just don't work out.. Don't push it.. And through my 2 divorces, he forced me to stay away from my folks in a land that he hates and can't live in himself.. To just torture me.. Not considering the needs and wants of his own little girl..

And I did it, for the sake of my baby I did it.. Until I got sick.. Literally sick.. Ill.. To the limit of not being able to do simple chores around the house.. And I had to be fixed.. And he never believed it.. To torture me more, he banned her from travelling with me and is planning to take her in 2 days.. Two days.. After 9 months of carrying her inside of me and 6 years and five months (2345 days) of carrying her heart in mine and her whole being 24/7..

I don't know what tomorrow carries for me and her.. What I know is that God Is The Most Powerful and He & only He Can Save her and Bring her back to me, safe and sound..... Amen!