Friday, January 11, 2019

His Light..



"Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things."
~Quran~
It's always dark away from Him. Intentionally forgetting or forsaking, are the worst. He's always Near. Closer than veins. 

Through these dark times I live, I am so thankful, for so many things, can't even begin. I'm thankful for that 11 y/old girl smiling at me in the mosque today. The prettiest smile. Leaning on me through the sermon and at times playing with the strings from my rug.. She even fiddled with my skirt.. I wanted to tell her about you.. I want to tell them all, but no one will ever understand.. Will I live to see you this tall baby? Ya Rab!

Can you believe it Pateety? Your own dad forbidding you from reaching me. May Allah Protect your little heart mommy.. May Allah bring you back to me safe and sound!

Yes, I'm going to courts for you honey bunboony.. He asked for it! Never thought I'd take this route, but life could sometimes be beyond any expectation. My advice? Never trust too much baby, never!

I lost my peace of mind, my serenity.. I lost me. Just like a flower, waiting to bloom.. I'm still me though, just need a big hug from you heart of heart, and I'll be alright..

Remember Sheikh Jaber? AlHamdulillah he's still alive and free, with a lot of restrictions though, may Allah Keep him safe. He said today that he was raised with his seven siblings without a dad, and turned out to be Sheikh Jaber. He said Allah Takes care of little ones. And old too.. I know angels are watching you.. And me..

I stopped in front of Grandma S's house, it was sad, so sad. Her voice left the place, it's so empty. Dark and still. No more poems, nor stories of her charming prince and past. She's become past..

I don't have a charming prince to tell you about, but I if I live long enough, I'll tell you about my dream of him.. The one I never met..

Will I ever be missed? Do I need to be missed? I don't think so, I just pray you'd be a road for me to heaven pumpkin..

I miss you beyond words, beyond thoughts, beyond dreams, beyond it all..

No comments:

Post a Comment

h e a r t o f m y h e a r t

Happy birthday mommy <3 How much more can my heart bear.. It's been so heavy for a year & a half now. This lump in my throat ...