reNember?

reNember & Nemories

Two of the few words that Z says cutely :) I wish she doesn't outgrow them!

If I ask you to choose one scent to surround you all through your days, which would you pick? I'd definitely go for DOWNY! It's home, it's mommy, it's cleanliness and love!

We make our own nemories, we shape and frame them.. And we can also choose what to renember and what not to renember.. Forgetting is a blessing too..

However, not all people have the luxury of having good nemories, nor do they have the ability for forgetting bad ones, especially if they are a lot..

*sighs*

Z and I and a couple of other girls have been to an orphanage recently, and it was very difficult.. The girls tried to reach out and play with the orphan girls, and that was hard to do! Half the girls there didn't want to see us and stayed in their rooms.. After we left, Z's comment was: "they are harsh mommy"! They were definitely very rough in communicating and were so guarded.. You could see a scar here and there on every girl, and can't help but wonder where they came from! And how many inner scars each one holds!

I'm so against visiting an orphanage occasionally, you either do it regularly, or just drop off whatever stuff you think they might need, and go.. It's very hard for them to be so exposed; just for wealthy people trying to stir some of their buried feelings; by visiting less fortunate people..

All my life, I had the fear, a phobia, of being an orphan, and pray day and night not to be one..

A little girl there, around seven years old, told me that Z looks cute and that she loved what she was wearing and her hairdo, and then asked me if I was her mom, and all I could do was weep! How can I ease this little girl's pains? How can I grant her what she doesn't have?

Another girl sat next to me and kept on putting her head in my chest and arm around me!

Those girls' faces will be engraved in my and Z's nemories forever..

*sighs*

Growing up, we had family friends, whom in a million years, I wouldn't have known that one of their daughters was adopted. She even somehow looked like her adoptive parents. Why adopted? After years of their marriage, they weren't granted any children, so they adopted O. Years later, Allah granted them a biological daughter. Never did they ever differentiate between them, but society did! When it was time for O to get married, my oh my, did she suffer.

Not only orphans in orphanages suffer..


"Hush little baby, pure and small,
He created you, He created us all..
Hush little baby don't you fear,
We're never alone, when Allah's so near..
Hush little baby, breathing so calm,
He'll protect us all, and Keep us from harm..
Hush little baby, still and serene,
You are a Muslim, Islam is your deen.."
~ Zain Bhikha ~

"LoVe Me NoW"

"Something inside us, knows there's nothing guaranteed,
Girl I don't need you, to tell me that you'll never leave,
When we've done all that we could, to turn darkness into light, turn evil to good,
Even when we try so hard, for that perfect kind of love, it could all fall apart.."~John Legend~

Unconditional love? Don't think so..

I always called for it and believed in it, but no man, no! Here's Ashy's story to prove:

I've always been into cats.. Started with Kooky, then Lilly, Caramel and then came Mr. Ashy.. He was taken from his mom at a very early age and was weak and aggressive.. We tried to contain him, treat him and give him all our love, but then came a day where he flipped out and bit the woman working for us here in the house so bad, that we had to LET HIM GO! What kind of love is that? I don't know really!

"Mundian to bach ke Rahi"

Box kites.. Did you ever fly one? I remember back home in Abu Dhabi when we used to go barbecuing or go for picnics, lots of people from Desi backgrounds used to play cricket and fly kites, and man were they good! I always wanted to learn how to play cricket, but never did..

Up here as you can see is a genuine attempt of me trying to teach my darling Z how to fly a box kite. It did work eventually, and she was happy :)

Childhood is the dough and adulthood is either the cherry on top, or a burn and/or a topping that went wrong.. Thank God for my childhood and for Baba and Mama whom have made it as perfect as they could.. What a lovely ride it was.. If only I could turn back the hands of time..

*sighs*

All I can do now; is do my best as a single mom in my baby's upbringing! Fly kites, make good dreams and try to chase them.. Yes we're stuck here in this difficult part of the world now, but you have got to do what you have got to do!

"Mundian to bach ke Rahi"; in other words, "Beware of the boys" sweetie pie, it's not all cotton candy clouds, fun slides and "Hawaiian roller coaster rides".. It's hard work, and lots of giving of love and respect for you to earn them back..

Baby, Yesterday was the day you had your 2 front teeth pulled out; to give room for your first "permanent" tooth to come in place.. Try to take good care of this tooth and keep it clean for it will hang around with you for quite sometime!

Daddy used to tell me "be like the clear water, for if any dirt falls in, it'll change it's color and odor.." And that's what I always try to do dear baba, but you can't help it when the wind blows in dust and smoke now, can you?